What a difference a year makes...

Jack is sleeping soundly, and Raleigh and I are in bed, snuggled tight and ready for rest.  But this time a year ago was  a very different time.  May 26th, 2010 was the day that Jack had his open heart surgery and his surgeon inserted a BT shunt and opened his closed pulmonary valve.  All without using a heart lung bypass machine.  I don't think most people understand what a big deal that is, but as it was explained to me, it was a huge deal.  Jack was only 4 pounds at the time of his surgery and his heart was about the size of a grape. 

Remembering back on that day and its stress and fear, I have been very tender all day.  I cried when I saw him in his crib this morning and if he hadn't switched quickly from his joyful smile to his confused and fearful pout, I may have cried and rocked him all morning long.  But I didn't want to scare him.  This day was just another one in which he would play with Mommy, and try to grab Raleigh, and eat lots and lots of delicious new things, including a leaf that he found in the living room.  And that's such a wonderful gift for Jack.  He has no idea what danger he was in a year ago.  He only knows that today, like yesterday and tomorrow, are for enjoying and playing and loving.  That's a pretty healthy way to live, I think.  I continue to learn from him and hope he always has the same healthy outlook.

I remember all the scary times, and I know that the future won't be without setbacks.  I know that he will have another surgery soon, probably this year.  And I know that as my baby grows into a man, he will have valve replacements long after I am no longer on earth to make sure that the doctors and nurses have all the information about his health history.  And as I continue to struggle with the truth that I can't keep Jack safe, I am comforted by the progress he's made and the strength he has.  They warned me that he would be on the feeding tube for months, he may fail to thrive, may have significant developmental delays. 

But none of that was true.  And as I look at this baby who still doesn't hold his own bottle, I know it's not because he isn't able to do so.  It's because he doesn't want to.  Because he knows that Mommy will do it for him.  Because I spoil him.  And that's okay.  I'm going to keep doing it until he's ready to do it on his own.  I've pushed him to just keep breathing, pushed his heart to just keep beating, and he's done all the hard work.  So a little coddling is okay.  He's already stronger than most other people I know.  He's allowed to relax.  And so am I.

Below are two photos of Baby Jack.  The first on this day a year ago, following the heart surgery.  The other, today.  A year later and a world apart from that tiny, frail baby in the hospital.  And what a blessing it is!

 Happy Anniversary!
Maggie

Last week was wonderful!  Rather than celebrate the anniversary of Jack's birth on just one day, I felt he deserved a whole week to celebrate his life.  And so we did!  The celebration continued this weekend with a visit to Columbus for a birthday party with the family.  We had such a lovely time, and it was wonderful to see so many of the loved ones who had helped me, prayed with me, and loved on me while Jack was going through the first week of his life.

I went with a "Superman" theme, since no one can deny that this kid is pretty super!  The cake was from Publix, and they also give a free "smash cake" for the first birthday.  Photos of that event are a little later!

Jack seemed to really enjoy the party.  He is absolutely enamored with his cousins and crawled after them, and smiled and grabbed them whenever they came near

Jack loved his car, and Lizzie and Frankie made sure he had an exciting first drive.  I kept an eye on them, and it was a good thing, becuase they almost flipped Jack over backward, which he loved, of course.

 It didn't take him long to find the horn!

Doesn't he look precious in his birthday hat!?!?

SMASH CAKE!!!  I was pretty uncomfortable during this part of the festivities, but being Jack's mother is teaching me to let loose.  I resisted the urge to clean him up after every bite, and he had a ball!  He almost looks like he's challenging me to relax!  "Mommy, it's no big deal, you know."

Here he is blowing bubbles and crawling around the party.  Jack had a great day, loved on some folks, opened some presents and ate some cake.  Pretty good day!  He slept the whole way home, then had dinner, a bath, and went to bed again for the whole night.  Big day for my little boy!

One-Year-Photos!

Mr. Bob did another amazing job photographing Jack on his birthday, and I've already received the link to go look at the pictures.  They are so gorgeous!!  And cute!!  And wonderful!  Now the hard part begins...

Which ones to order?!?!?!

Take a look for yourself at the link below.  When you get to the website, scroll to the bottom and enter "jlaton" into the box below the words "View Previews Online."

http://www.shapirophotography.com/

Enjoy!
Maggie

What a day!!

Today we celebrated Jack's first birthday and what a day we had!  We began the day early, as usual, and then headed to Newnan to have Jack's one-year photos taken at Bob Shapiro's studio.  Mr Bob does wonderful work and Jack was a wonderful subject.  He flirted, he smiled, and he even waved "bye" when we left.  Such a cutie!  I'll post the link when those pics are posted.

After the photo shoot, we headed to Chick-fil-a for Jack's first chicken nugget.  This was quite the event and Jack was initiated into the long running "fried chicken afficionado" class that is our family.  He was skeptical at first, but soon realized the genius that is the chicken nugget.  Soon he was reaching for them faster than I could cut them up...

If you listen really closely, you can hear him saying "OOOOOHHH!!"

Below you can see Jack cutting his eyes to the side, but to look at what, you wonder? 

Well.....  It would appear that Jack has an admirer...

This cutie-patootie refused to sit with her own family, choosing instead to stand just away from our table, and smiling like a loon at Jack.  Every so often she'd come up to his high chair and smile sweetly, occasionally touching his foot or hand.  It would appear that Jack is going to be very popular with the ladies.  At least crazy little ones at the Chick-fil-a!

After lunch, we went to work to visit with our accountant friends and give them a brief respite from tax season.  Then we had an afternoon nap, and then a Skype date with Gramma and Granpa Laton.  Jack was given the package and card from them that came in the mail, and upon opening them, threw the gifts to the side and loved on the envelope and box.  So predictable, Baby Jack!

Finally, we wrapped the best day ever with dinner at Church.  Uncle Amos wasn't there, as he was attending the Braves game, but Jack and Aunt Marian had quite the dinner date!

Then we went outside for the Easter Egg hunt, and Jack also went on the slide.  Such a daredevil!

So ends another wonderful day with my little gift from God.  Jack sleeps upstairs and I'm wrapping up a few things downstairs, before turning in myself.  Tomorrow we begin again, to live, love and enjoy life, together.  What a wonderful boy, what a wonderful life...

Love
Maggie and Jack

Happy First Birthday!!!!

Today, I woke up the mother of a one-year-old.  Jack is no longer a baby!!  He is growing into a toddler, and a strong and happy one at that!  Below are the first photos of him in this, his second year of life:

He loves to see me in the morning.  It's the best part of my day, by far.  Here he is peeking through the slats in his crib...

And here he is from above.  Notice that there are three pacifiers within reach of his mouth.  That may, in fact, be why he's so happy.  I will continue to believe it's me, though!!

The petite prince getting his bath!  He loves it when I do his hair up like that!

And finally, here he is in his birthday outfit!  He wants to make sure that everyone who sees us has the opportunity to dote on him and fuss over his hard won first birthday! 

So, now we are on our way to Mr. Bob's studio to get Jack's one year photos.  They will be precious for sure.  We will also enjoy this day together for all the struggle and blessing that the past year has brought us. 

Love

Maggie and Jack!

Where Does the Time Go?

April 7, 2011

I haven't posted in quite a while.  When I logged on today, I didn't realize that it had been such a very long time.  But it seems that it has.  The past few months have swirled around us and swept up all the stuff we have done and carried it along with the wind.  I continue to be amazed at how quickly time flies once you have a child.  Each day is precious, and brings a new accomplishment, and I have to remind myself each afternoon not to be too eager for bedtime.  For even though I will return to the bed for some much needed sleep, if I rush there each day, I will miss so much of the life that Jack is living.  And what an amazing life it has been so far. 

This time next week, Jack will be "1-year-old" and I simply cannot believe it.  Beginning this morning, we have been trying to enjoy every moment of the last week of his first year.  We slept late, thanks solely to Jack's desire to sleep late, which I really appreciated!  Then we went to work for a little while.  Now he's napping and once he's up, we are going to Zaxby's for a birthday cake milkshake.  It's as if they knew Baby Jack was approaching this milestone and brought it back for a limited engagement just in time.

We will probably enjoy our milkshake outside, for spring in Atlanta is a thing of beauty, and today she is wearing her finest garb.  Tomorrow, we are heading to Columbus to order a cake and food for the birthday party next Saturday.  I was going to do a "Doctors and Nurses" theme for the party and get scrubs and doctors kits for all the kids, but I think I am ready to begin letting go of Jack's difficult start to life.  I find comfort in all of the hospital memories, but I think that together, we are going to begin to move forward and find comfort in the future. 

Recently, we travelled to St Simon's Island to visit Jack's cousins Lizzie and Frankie, and Aunt Titi and Uncle Bo.  We had such a great time!!  Jack got to eat sand at the beach and drink pool water!  He has no patience for my OCD and germaphobia and insists that I just loosen up, and he'll be fine.  Below are a few photos of Jack on his big adventure!

I will endeavor to write more regularly and ask that if you are following this blog, please become a "Follower" by clicking on the followers button on the right of the page, near the top.  And if you feel like it, please leave a comment.  We'd love to know who is checking in on Jack's progress!

Have a great week, we sure will!

Love
Maggie and Jack 

"Is this John Laton's Mother?"

January 26, 2011

Everytime someone from Egleston or Sibley calls me, that is how they greet me.  This morning, I was waiting for the call.  At our last cardiology check-up, Jack's heart looked great.  The pressures were lower, the right ventricle was thinned and pumping better than before, and the shunt was still open and functional.  Everything looked so good that the doctor said that she wanted to send the data to the "Cath Conference" so that the doctors could evaluate it and determine whether Jack needed his next surgery in February.  But she said that she thought that they would conclude that he didn't need it.  I crossed my fingers and prayed, but dared not plan on avoiding another heartbreak.

When the phone rang, I was at City Cafe and Bakery, enjoying the first breakfast with a friend that I had had in I can't remember how long.  I recognized the first few digits in the phone number as belonging to Sibley, and I caught my breath for just a moment.  When I answered the call, I felt confident that the news would be good, but I had trained myself not to hope to big, and so I braced myself, saying "Hello?"

The nurse who spoke was sweet, and delivered the results like an angel anchoring the evening news in Heaven.  "The doctors believe that Jack's heart is operating well at this time, and they see no need to do a cath at this time."  Aaaaaahhhh.  And then I breathe again.  Slowly at first, to calm myself.  Then I begin to barrage the poor nurse who drew the short straw and was assigned to call "Jack's Mama," for now the interrogation begins.  I was thrilled that Jack wouldn't need a surgery in the near future, but since I had planned on it, I needed to know the reasons, the risks, and what the new plan was. 

In short, Jack's heart is recovering from the months of damage it endured while the valve was fused closed.  They have no idea why (my words) but it's positive, and the pressures are lower than they were a few months ago.  Without the cath, they can't tell for sure how well the valve is opened, but the echo's show that the pressures are low, and so it's open enough to allow sufficient blood flow to support his organs.  If they went in anyway, they could damage the heart, or the valve.  Types of damage include opening the valve too much, causing leakage back into the right ventricle, (which would necessitate a valve replacement sooner) all the way up to rupture of the arteries or chambers.  Plus, in order to even do the cath, Jack would have to be put under and intubated, both of which are dangerous for a baby.

Now, in the meantime, they will "manage his case medically, in the clinic until circumstances warrant further scrutiny at the cath conference."  This essentially means that we will continue to visit the cardiologist regularly to have ekg's and echo's done on Jack's heart.  Our next appointment is in early March, and at that time we will assess the heart function and determine how frequently Jack will need to be seen.  The nurse couldn't tell me how frequently the doctor would want to see us, but I suspect that it may be every other month or so.  The changes we will look for are increased pressures in the heart, specifically the "gradient" across the pulmonary valve, which is how fast the blood speeds up going through the bottleneck that the narrowed opening causes.  Also, I will monitor his oxygen saturations at home to look for signs that the blood flow is not supporting his growing body, as well as monitoring his appetite, weight, mood and appearance. 

The good news is that he doesn't need surgery next month.  The bad news is that his heart isn't really "healed" and he will still need surgery at some point.   But the longer he can wait, the bigger he will be and the better able his body will be to handle the sedation.  They warned me a while ago that the worst part of this defect was the waiting.  That the repairs would be slow and deliberate in order to avoid doing damage that would make the life-long management more difficult.  So I'm prepared for the waiting. 

Really, I am......

But it's still hard.  I just keep looking at this sweet, fat little baby with the rosy cheeks and know that everything is alright.  He's amazed everyone with how well he's done thus far.  If it's okay with everyone else, I'm going to keep hoping to be amazed again, and again.  It never gets old, does it?

Love
Maggie and Jack