Monday, October 11, 2010

So very sleepy.....

October 10, 2010

Jack had another big week last week.  I can't believe how exhausted I am, but things keep going well for Jack and his development, and health, so I keep powering on.  I can't remember anymore what Jack and I did in days past, so going forward, I am going to keep more in my calendar.  But rest assured, the basics are being covered!  Meds, physical therapy and vitals checks always occur, as do meals and sleep (for Jack, anyway) and dry diapers.  But I can't remember, for the life of me, which friend kept Jack last Monday while I went to tae kwon do.  I know it was a capable person, whom I trust (no one else is allowed to be with him, unsupervised) but seriously, if you kept Jack last Monday, let me know!  ;-)

On Tuesday of last week, we went to the hepatologist (liver doctor) for a follow up.  Dr Vos has been treating Jack for an enlarged liver and jaundice since before he was discharged from the NICU .  It is believe that his liver was enlarged, in part, due to the backward pressures in Jack's heart, and that since a repair had been done, the liver would be much improved.  And so it was!  It felt much smaller and soft, which it is supposed to, and so Dr Vos allowed me to cease two medications, and begin to wean off a third!  The office will call me this week with the blood results, and they may show that one of the meds will have to be returned to the rotation, but I am praying not.  I am hoping that this small step forward will not be paired with a step back.   Unless something happens to change the plan, Dr Vos believes that she won't have to see Jack again.  One doctor off the rotation!!  Yay!!  Half a dozen more to go...

While we were at Egleston, we visited the NICU, and got to visit with doctors and nurses who were there when Jack was admitted and discharged.  Dr Hamrick, the neonatologist who was with Jack the day he was admitted to Egleston, was amazed at his appearance, and said she would never have picked him out of a lineup.  And Nurse Kathy, who made sure I watched the videos on "Back is Best for Sleeping" and the "Period of Purple Crying" was there too.  Jack charmed everyone and I was so proud he was able to show them how hard he was working since he'd left them.

It is now almost midnight, and I seriously can't remember what I did yesterday, much less last week, so I will close, and leave you with the pictures below.  Jack had another fashionable and cute week.  Enjoy!

Baby Fashionisto:  Plaid jumper with bull dozer.  How sweet!!  And his socks match the dozer!


"Boy" onesie.  I love this onesie, it's so cute, with the male sign on the chest!  And the blue pants, I just bought, and he's already outgrowing.  He clearly loves having his picture taken every morning!



This outfit is just a white onesie with striped pants, but he looked so familiar to me.  Then I realized, he looks like my Great Uncle, "Papa" who raised my Mother and her siblings, and several cousins, too.  I always remember him in a white t-shirt, or tank top, stretched tight over an ample stomach, with either slacks or pajama pants.  Also notice Jack's band-aid.  That's from where they took blood at the hepatologist.  I wanted to take it off, but he said "leave it Mama, chicks dig it."  Hee!


One pouty puppy.  Here I had clearly overstepped my bounds.  I thought that a hat that looks like a puppy face was precious, and very appropriate for our errand running.  Jack disagreed and scowled quite a bit.  However, as soon as the first woman coo'd at him, and said how cute the hat was, he perked up and turned on the smiles!


Jack and Aunt Katie enjoying a lunch, al fresco.  The weather here has been just beautiful, and so we had lunch on the patio.  Aren't they cute together?  Jack loves Aunt Katie!


Jack Laton has custom made clothing.  Yep!  That's Kay Lynn, a good friend of ours, and his seamstress.  She is making Jack a teeny-tiny dobok (tae kwon do uniform) for the Health Kick fundraiser this weekend.  This is actually the second one she's made.  He outgrew the one she made just a week ago!!  She is going to trim it in black, with baby blue.  I can't wait!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

i carry your heart with me...

October 10, 2010

The title of this week's blog post is the title of a poem by e.e. cummings, an american poet who frequently ommited punctuation, capitalized letters, or other expected features of traditional poetry.  Being so very conservative and traditional ;-), I didn't care for e.e. cummings for a long time, but so much has changed since I've become a mother.  I love this poem.  It is certainly about a person, honoring the relationship with his lover, but as with everything I read these days, I can only see Jack in the words.  The poem is printed below, if you'd like to read it, but essentially describes that the object of the voice's love is responsible for everything he does, and even is.  Wherever the love goes, he goes; whatever he does, is only because his love has made it so. 

I absolutely feel that way about Jack.  I visited some friends last week who hadn't met Jack yet, and in all the swooning over Jack, one of the group looked at me and asked, "He completely changed your life, didn't he?"  And he certainly has.  I never believed anyone who told me that I would love my own child more than I could even imagine.  I mean, for those of you who knew Jessie, the Jack Russell terrier I got in college, she was it for me.  I loved that dog like a child.  Or at least I thought I did. 

I have to admit, I am often stunned, and even scared by the powerful feelings of love that I have for this child.  Many times, after Jack has screamed and cried for an hour or more, and I can't see how I can do this one more day, he will settle, and fall asleep.  And very shortly, the stress and anxiety from moments ago fade away, and I am awash in feelings of love.  I look at his sweet, sleeping face and catch my breath, as the tears well up.  He's just so perfect.  Even his heart defect was perfectly matched with my temperment and organization.  Perfect.

And so it is, that as I move through life, I am always acting as if Jack's heart is within my own.  For if it is truly possible to have a soulmate, Jack is mine.  I feel as if he can feel my happiness, my stress, my anguish.  I fear no future for myself; as long as he is in it, I am eager to meet it.  And it is the truth of truths, the greatness of the sun and moon, and the future I see: Jack is mine, and I carry his heart with me.  I carry it in my heart....


i carry your heart with me
e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


Photo:  Jack following an hour or more of screaming.  Sweet, quiet snoring and the face of an angel.  Does it get any better?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Jack's Fundraising Efforts - UPDATE

October 3, 2010

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent a donation for the fundraiser that Jack is participating in to benefit the Sibley Heart Center!!  I have been so honored by the response we've received so far, and am very grateful for all the donations.  The money will do so much good for the Sibley Heart Center, and all of the children that are served by them.

Just a reminder, the "Health Kick" is on Saturday, October 16th, here in Fayetteville, GA.  If you haven't already, please consider sending a donation to Jack!!  If you're in the area, the event will be at Master Shim's World Class Tae Kwon Do, in the Publix Shopping Center, just south of the town square.  Hope to see you there!

As an extra incentive, everyone who sends a donation will receive a special photo of Jack in the tiny tae kwon do uniform that our friend Kay Lynn is making for him!  She came by today for a fitting, and he has practically grown out of the one she made already!!  But it sure was cute!

If you are able to donate, please send the check to our house, or email me for the address ( jacklaton25@yahoo.com).  Remember to make the check payable to the Children't Miracle Network.

Thank you very much!
Love
Maggie and Jack

The Year That Was...

October 3, 2010

A year ago today, I was coping with receiving what I thought was the worst news I could ever hear.  My husband wanted out, and there was to be no discussion.  At that time, I didn't see any way that I would ever not hurt again.  But God had a plan.  Because two days later, I found out I was pregnant, and thus began the most amazing, terrifying, rewarding, heart breaking and heart healing year of my life.  By this time, a year ago, I was already a mother, although I didn't know it, and now I thank God for everyday that I wake up with Jack.  Even when he's crying and poopy.  I swear.

Jack had another wonderful week!  We continued to work on the development of his right hand usage, and by this morning, he was using it almost as confidently as the left.  Below is a picture of him using his hand to stroke my face.  He usually does the same thing with his left hand while I'm feeding him.  It's such a sweet thing, and I'm sure he doesn't understand the emotional significance of the "face stroke" move, but it's almost as if he does.  He stares so intently at me, eating and cooing, and stroking my face and I just know he's grooming me for years of manipulating me into buying him things and letting him go to parties.  It's working already!


On Tuesday morning, we will be driving to Egleston for a follow-up with Jack's hepatologist (liver doctor).  I am hoping that his liver will have returned to an acceptable size and that the doctor will allow Jack to come off the medicine he is on for the enlarged liver.  *Fingers Crossed!*  Other than that, we just have lots of cuddling and smooching planned!  So below are a few pictures of Jack and the life of Riley that he is so blessed to be living!

Meeting his brother Rivers.  Jack was kind of interested in Rivers, but Rivers was totally enamored with Jack.  I had to keep them apart, because most of the time that Rivers got this close to Jack, he was licking him somewhere, most commonly on the head or face.  At times, I'd pretend to look away, and Rivers would "sneak" a lick on Jack's foot.  So sweet!


Jack hanging out with Debbie at work.  Jack loves the office, because it's full of women who coo at and dote on him. 


Sleeping Cutie.  This was right after a bottle.  He needed a diaper change, but didn't want to wake up for it.  This actually made it much easier to change him!


Helllooooo Ladies!  This was mid-diaper change and I thought he kind of looked like a 1970's "cool guy" in a leisure suit, unzipped to the waist, sexy chest hanging out.  Jack is far cuter than those weirdo's, of course.


Baby Fashionisto:  Mommy's Little Monster.  So appropriate!!  And did I mention?  I LOVE pants on a baby!


Jack at the City Cafe for our regular brunch dates.  Isn't he a handsome fellow?



 Hope you have a great week!!

Love
Maggie